I had a mini “Ah-Ha” moment the other day when I was thinking about a parent child relationship. I think most people go through life without realizing this little fact, most just take it for granted. Our attitude in any parent-child relationship (I am referring the the blood-type relationship of a parent and child, adoption included, NOT referring to the Parent-Child-Adult relationship of Transactional Analysis), is one that is almost akin to “god given right”, as in “I am the parent you jolly well listen to me and act accordingly.” That appears to be the norm in almost any culture. Parents, have literally forgotten to ponder about the fact that do you really think you actually have power over your child? Apply that in a broader sense to anyone who is seen as an Authoritarian, or Authoritative figure, do you really think you actually hold the “power” over your subjects to be able to get him/her/them to do anything?
The answer in both cases unfortunately is “No”. He/she who has what appears to be “power” has only been given that “power” because those below you have willingly surrendered their own personal power to you so that you may do your job to serve them, or guide them, with their best interest at heart. In the parent-child case, the child surrendered his/her personal autonomy to you so that you may bring, guide, feed, and protect, etc, your child. Of course, the child may not know that due to his/her underdeveloped cognitive capacities. In the case of an Authoritarian, or Authoritative figure; your power exists for as long as the people under you lets you have it. If everyone under you prefers to die, or run away to somewhere else (or in some cases overthrow you), over doing your bidding, pretty soon you will be a lonesome person with no more power over anyone else except yourself. Your power to create fear over others so that you can continue maintaining the facade of having power has a limited lifespan.
Therefore people who are in positions of “power” (parents included) be mindful about the reasons you hold that power. “Power” comes with a certain level of responsibility. That responsibility is to act with honor on behalf of your charges under you.
According to Delores Canon, karma comes from allowing other’s actions and behaviors to affect you, so if you want to end the karmic cycle then its time to forgive the action and let him/her be. An action is just an event, it is us who give it deep meaning, thus allowing it to affect us. See it as an event, it becomes easier to forgive. When you have forgiven, the event ceases to tie you down with all the meaning you have attached to it, and you will start to feel lighter. Don’t become involved in someone else’s karmic cycle.
We enter this life to experience and relish from all that life has offer in order to grow and expand. It has been said before that life on earth can be very hard. Shakyamuni Buddha said “Life is Suffering“, but, he also said “all things are relative.” Lao Tzu said “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ” Socrates said “Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it” (I shall leave you to ponder upon the deeper meanings of this quote). And, Eckhart Tolle said “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.” In all, ‘life’ is tough from the perspective of each of our personal level.
A friend of mine made a post just before Christmas which I will quote here :
So many things that happen in life are beyond our control. From relationships to business affairs, the best laid plans can just fall apart in the blink of an eye and you’re left with the taste of ashes in your mouth, the queasy feeling in your stomach and a million thoughts running through your mind. Your emotions start to take over and your first instinct is to find a quick solution to either solve the problem, run from it or quell your emotions.
But if you choose to stay in the moment and not get trapped into worrying about the future or getting trapped in the past, you begin to realise that despite the setbacks and uncertainties in life, there are many other things that are going your way and you can be grateful for.
For every failed relationship there is someone who will not leave your side or knowingly hurt you. For every failed business venture, there is a lesson waiting to be learnt so that you may learn and grow. For every crushed dream and plan that falls apart, there is another dream waiting to be realised and for you to fulfill.
We can choose to give up or we can choose to hope. To believe and to keep the faith. To be grateful and appreciative. To love and be loved despite it all.
– Alistair Tan
Pain is a fact; our evaluation of it is a choice.
Much too often we evaluate situations according to our myopic perspectives of the world. We grew up being conditioned into it. Besides, how much faith can we put into another perspective that we cannot perceive yet? But, according to Lao Tzu “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.” Shakyamuni Buddha also said “The mind is everything, what we think we become.” Approach things from another perspective and the situation may appear different than what you/we may have first thought. I shall end this post with 2 more quotes.
– Lao Tzu